May 5, 2012

Things I am afraid to tell you.

One of the blogs I read faithfully was inspired by another bloggers post abut her “real” life, not the life we just show online. She decided to follow suit and even began a list as more and more bloggers began to take part. Because I too, fall prey to the insecurities from reading “perfect” life blogs (not that I think that this is that but I am aware I do edit what I show you on here) so I wanted to give it a go as well.

So here goes:

  1. I fluctuate between being super organized and REALLY messy. If I can’t put something away in its orderly, labelled spot, I won’t put it anywhere. Which means that often a room or the whole house looks like a landfill until I actually gather up the energy or desire to do something about it. Often this coincides with someone coming to visit and/or a new project in the house.

  2. I wish girdles were still in style. Or corsets. I actually studied costume design (before graphic design) and wore a corset for hours and KNOW how uncomfortable they are BUT still think it would be easier to live in a time where a fashionable shape could be, well, fashioned. Instead of expecting our natural bodies to conform to some unrealistic size and or shape. Of course better than this would be NO fashionable shape at all. But I am not sure how we would do that either.

  3. I constantly think I have bad breath and it makes me REALLY insecure. I have had a problem tooth for 3 years now and because my dentist is not in my current city but my hometown, most times when I see him we focus on this problem only. Which means I have not had a good cleaning in over 2 years and I worry that it is “showing”. I have one booked this month as well as an apt to finally fix the problem tooth. I can’t wait.

  4. I am ridiculously affected by others opinions of me. I remember every negative thing ever said about me and who said it. Even the ones not said to my face but told to me later. Because of this, I never feel quite good enough.

  5. I don’t love design. This is my full time job (hence why posts are often few and far between) and I am good at it (not great at it) but I don’t love it. I like it. But if I was to pick a true passion to do everyday for the rest of my life it would be something to do with houses – staging, organizing, decorating. That is what I wish I could spend more time doing. Maybe someday.

  6. I am still really forgetful. As a kid I always forgot my homework, or project, or whatever else I needed to bring to school. As a mom, I worry that I am passing this trait on. I have forgotten to send things with the kids more than I would like to admit and even just the other day ran inside as the bus was coming to grab my son’s swim gear before he got on the bus. I am totally winging it the best that I can.

  7. I am envious of bloggers who post more than me, who have time to do weekly projects, to make their house prettier step by step. And then I don’t feel good enough and think I shouldn’t post at all. And then I remember that I don’t care and will create content at my own pace. For me.

{deep breath} o.k I think that is enough. Wow! This is going to be hard to hit publish. But here goes…

If you want to read more of these amazing and “real” posts, go over to EZ’s blog Creature Comforts and read some more.

12 thoughts on “Things I am afraid to tell you.

  1. Gwen

    Such a great post Janet! And for the record, I think you are a great designer. I wish I had an eye for that type of stuff and I dont know what I’d do without you :)

    I can relate to a few of these and if I had a blog, I’d so participate in this! But it does make you think about the person behind these blogs a bit more and what their lives are *really* like. The picture painted in most cases is definitely not the full story.

    1. janet

      Thanks Gwen. I find it so easily to compare myself to “true” designers, or bloggers or any creative person and not measure up. But in the online world what you are comparing yourself to is the equivalent of a photoshopped life. It’s all about editing. :)

  2. Nathalie

    Truly a fantastic post…and perhaps I will follow suit!
    We all have insecurities on one level or another, no matter what they are -or if they are even justified…they just are. But it takes courage to expose them…good on you!

    1. janet

      Thanks Nat. It was hard to write and hard to post but I really don’t know why in the end. What is the point of all this pretending if not to just cause us undue stress. Not really worth it in the end. :)

  3. Sharon @ Discovering blog

    It’s funny, I often feel a day late and a dollar short.

    When I forget that my 4 yo daughter was supposed to wear a bathing suit to dance class, when I can’t seem to remember what days my son has violin and what days he has piano.

    My shirt is too tight or too loose, my purse is too big or too small. My necklace is not quite right.

    These are all my judgments against myself, but what I would give to just be completely comfortable in my own skin.

    1. janet

      It’s a never ending battle, isn’t it Sharon? I will catch myself just tossing judgement after judgement in ways I would never dream of being towards someone I love. Then I change my thinking until the next time I catch myself unconsciously tossing criticisms.

      All we can do is keep working on it, I guess. :)

  4. Sherri

    Thank you for pressing publish. You are very brave. I love that you aren’t “perfect”…flaws keep life interesting. Well done.

    1. janet

      Thanks Sherri. It’s true. Flaws are what we love about each other but also what we feel the need to hide. Thanks for the encouragement. :)

  5. Ruth

    I relate to so much of what you describe here – the super-tidy v complete inertia, for starters, the poor recall (mine includes names and faces too), and the poor self-image. I’ve read a few of these TIATTY posts, and yours is very real and very human and that is what we are after all – human. I found quite a few of the other bloggers unconvincing (as though even their bad stuff has been cleaned, polished and retouched), though that may be cultural. Apologising is what the British do best, after all, and all British people hate a bragger. I myself regularly apologise to people who bump into me for getting in their way. Anyway now I’ve discovered your blog, and you have a convert! I’ll be reading regularly. Have a great weekend!

    1. janet

      Thank you. I felt that if I was going to be real, I needed to be REAL. Not just the pretty versions of my fears. And some of them were VERY real (for instance, I DID have a massive infection in my root canal – and yup, it was NASTY!! But happily fixed now!) I hope I can keep showing the real and not just the pretty. But we like pretty too!

  6. Emma

    Lovely post. I’m enjoying reading these Things I’m Afraid to Tell You posts, makes us bloggers seem more like human beings doesn’t it? I suffer from blog envy too, sometimes sit and wonder how some bloggers manage it..but then I remember that instead of blogging, I’m living life and heck that’s a wonderful thing. Again, lovely..thank you for

    1. janet

      Thanks Emma… I still grapple day to day with that feeling of “not doing enough” but you are right, sometimes the living of life takes the time. :)

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